Choosing to Laugh

Let me start this out with two gigantic, “Oops!”

I stated that I was already in my Seventh Decade, which my husband informs me is a bold faced lie. No, he did not put it that way, he simply reminded me that I would not be in my Seventh Decade until April. Of course, I informed him that I knew that, lest he think dementia had skewed my sense of time, although frankly I doubt if I were demented that I would see myself older than I am…I digress..I told him that I wanted to start all this reflection with the New Year and since I would be 70 in April, I chose not to call it, “The Last Hurrahs of My Sixth Decade”.

Also, I indicated that we were now either Kentuckians or Floridians, also not technically true since we are also still Oklahomans. My aforementioned brother, Tom who lives with us owns a home there that requires attention, maintenance, and money. Additionally, we still have family there, our sons, daughters-in-law, grandkids, brothers and their families, including nieces and nephews, my Aunt Beulah and my cousins.

Yesterday, I felt the urge to talk to my daughter-in-law, Martha. So, I called her. Now you have to understand that I can always count on Martha for lively, sometimes emotional, but always rewarding conversation. In short, no matter what is happening from Josh being the Chic-a-Filla Cow along side Pistol Pete, the mascot for the Oklahoma State Cowboys, to the latest lowdown from work, whether “triumph or disaster”, Martha and I together “meet those two imposters just the same” (Rudyard Kipling) WITH LAUGHTER! Needless to say we talked for sometime and when I hit END on my phone, I felt connected to my family there again and SOOO thankful that we can talk every once in awhile…doubt she could stand any more often.

Laughter is so important to Living, that I contend there is a need to track down, seek out and even manufacture moments no matter how ridiculous that break through the walls and barriers and bring laughter into the world. Not laughter at anyone else’s expense but laughter that lifts spirits without even lifting “spirits” in a toast. I am not gifted with the ability to tell stories like my friends, Judy and Linda, but Lord! I do love soaking up their tales. I cannot shed light on the Gospel with humor like our pastor, Dan Saunders can, but Thank You, Lord…I can take it in when we are in Kentucky. I do share many moments with my husband when something strikes both of us as funny and we can barely keep it together.

So ridiculous or not I choose to laugh as deeply ad as often as I possibly can…in the latter days of my sixth decade and into my seventh.

“Grow Old Along with Me”* Companionship on the Journey

I had a vision of what life in retirement would be like. Terry and I as healthy vigorous senior adults. There would be travel, I could see us in Africa, Europe, Australia; there would be dancing; there would be life on mountain tops and life with our toes in the sand. The two of us, together with all the energy of our youth. Just Terry and I enjoying our children and their families, but in a way that did not intrude. Ah! I had a dream!

And then there was 2010! My unmarried brother who had taken care of my mother for many years had a debilitating stroke in late 2009, that robbed him of some cognitive function. He came to live with us for what we thought would be a temporary time, but has become permanent. My mom went to be with my older son. We were blessed that he would do that. In July 2010, Terry was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, which required aggressive chemotherapy and radiation, leaving him without cancer (Thank you, Lord) but changed physically, mentally and spiritually…in many ways better but in other ways not so much.

I continued to work through this time postponing retirement until January 2012. We lost both of our remaining parents in 2011 and my brother was diagnosed with cancer which required radiation treatment.

Still, in my head I still held MY VISION of what we would be like in retirement, even though evidence stacked up suggesting the need for a new plan. We were discovering as I am sure other senior adults do that our bodies and minds were not fully cooperating.

It took a while but I have gradually turned loose of the idea of climbing mountains and traveling the world. We have settled a bit in two places, Kentucky and Florida. Our explorations of the world have become more manageable. We still are active. Terry still plays tennis. We enjoy making new friends in our two communities. My brother has settled into our lives. We have two dogs, who are great furry companions.

Folks often think older adults are “set in their ways” and perhaps we are a bit, but I am finding that the key to not being discouraged by physical and mental decline is flexibility and determination not to give in, plop down on the sofa, and wither away alone. Isolation and rigidity lead to misery and eventually suck all the life out of how ever many years one has here on planet earth. So I am glad for family, old friends, new friends, my husband, my brother and these two little dogs.

Gotta keep moving and it is more fun with others along for the ride!

Happy New Year!

*Elisabeth Barrett Browning